Russianside shock

by Apr 1, 2018Cheekpoint memories2 comments

As the Irish Russian diplomatic tensions deepen, it came as a complete shock to the tiny neighbourhood of the Russianside, Cheekpoint, Co Waterford, to learn that they were to face mass deportation over the Easter weekend.

News of the deportation broke on Thursday when a spokesperson for the Department of Foreign Affairs speaking to Six One news announced a clean sweep of what was described as a “notorious Russian enclave”  Since that time the lane has been closed off, no one allowed to enter or leave without facing rigorous checks by the Gardai.

The Crossroads Cheekpoint, this morning

Staff at the Russian embassy seemed genuinely confused when asked to comment on the move. In a follow up email from a Russianside native, asking for some support a terse reply was received demanding that they use the mother tongue in any further correspondence.

Locals have worked tirelessly to try contact and clarify the situation with elected officials. Waterfords TD’s have all been contacted but to no avail. John Deasy is understood to be now living in Washington.  Mary Butler wasn’t available as her schedule over Easter, that includes being seen at every mass in the Comeragh electoral area, is too packed.  David Cullinane told them to feck right off, still stung by not even receiving a second preference from the area in the last election.

However John Halligan TD (a renowned negotiator) is now believed to have brokered a deal with residents of the lane, at a meeting on Easter Saturday in the local Reading Room. They claim that the problems have all arose with a ridiculous blogger named Doherty aka russiansider who has blogged at russianside.blogspot.ie since 2014, and got right ahead of himself recently when he published a book called Before the Tide Went Out. Speaking on behalf of the residents on WLR FM, Kate Cunningham said “serve him right to be deported, the arrogant git, couldn’t leave well enough alone”Doherty, it is understood, will be handed over to officials of the Department of Foreign Affairs on Monday at the Cross roads, the traditional border checkpoint separating the Russianside from the rest of Cheekpoint.

Just where he go’s after that we are not sure, but the sincere wish of local residents is that it is no where with access to broadband.

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2 Comments

  1. Peter Goulding
    Peter Goulding on 02/04/2018 at 1:29 pm

    Does this mean that the three group games of the World Cup scheduled for Park Rangers might not now go ahead?

    Reply
    • andrew
      andrew on 02/04/2018 at 2:23 pm

      You'll no doubt be very relieved to hear that the games are secure, thanks in no small part to the intervention of Mick Cox

      Reply

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